Thursday, January 13, 2011

Which aisle are the dads in?

I put my youngest down early on New Year's Eve, but let my seven year old daughter and nine year old son stay up to toast the New Year. (At 9:00pm) While we were drinking our sparkling cider in our fancy glasses, I asked my children if they had any hopes for the New Year. I was astonished at their response.
"I want a new dad," both of them shared. I was a little surprised and tried to correct them.
"No, No, I mean is there anything that you want to do this year or do you have a resolution?" I asked. Their response was the same. (I wonder if they had been discussing it because they were in full agreement.)I gave into the conversation and asked them where I might find and pick up a dad for them.
"At the grocery store," said Matt. Now wouldn't that be a fun aisle to walk down. Dads nicely packaged on shelves. You could pick one out, read through their list of contents, and compare cost. I am not sure why no one has thought of that before.I tried to explain to my children that I couldn't just find a dad for them. That relationships don't really work that way.

I haven't dated since my husband's death. I haven't really discussed the possibility with my children. So I was surprised when they brought it up. I know they miss their dad, but I didn't think that they wanted someone else to fill that role. I have tried to have them develop relationships with their grandfather and uncle. We even moved 950 miles so that my children would live closer to my family. But they still know they are missing out on a father. My daughter is now praying for one. (She also wants a sister.)

My parents were out to a party that evening, but the next morning when my children saw them, they ran up and exclaimed, "Mommy is getting married again!" (Yikes, I guess that conversation didn't go well.) I explained to my startled parents that, no, I wasn't getting married. The kids just wanted me to get them a dad. Again I spoke with my children and tried to explained to them that this wasn't something that they could decide. (I also encouraged them to not mention my getting married to anyone else.)

Later that day, I had lunch with a friend while her husband babysat my children. Can you guess what the first thing was that my daughter said when I arrived home? She pulled me aside and told me how much she loved my friend's husband. "He would make a great dad," she whispered. Looks like this conversation isn't going away.

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